Escaping
i would live with you
on a boat by the sea
with no other human breath between us
and no end to memory
watching the day conceive
of a night without morning
no waking hours without you
and dreams without yearning
no cables through which
we convey our words
and the music of nature
which the city's never heard
the sun could warm our days
and candles would light our nights
and we could share the peace we longed for with no other soul in sight
where eyes could not misunderstand
or cheapen our emotions
and the sound of our laughter
could reach the end of the oceans
no tears we cry
would be lost on the ground
and the lovers in books of history
would envy the love we found
i would have no fear of the lines
the years leave on my face
as i fade away with you
in that timeless place
we could indulge in whispers
only the wind can hear
and listen to songs of seabirds
that fly from far and near
where no demons could reach us
and cloud our thoughts
and no material possessions
except the ones we brought
where sunsets are the only gold
that sparkles and gleams
and the tides are neverending
where time is a dream
Monday, April 24, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Lessons of Failure
Lord, are you trying to tell me something?
For... Failure does not mean I'm a failure; It does mean I have not yet succeeded. Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing; It does mean I have learned something. Failure does not mean I have been a fool; It does mean I had enough faith to experiment. Failure does not mean I have disgraced; It does mean I have dared to try. Failure does not mean I don't have it; It does mean I have something to do in a different way. Failure does not mean I am inferior; It does mean I am not perfect. Failure does not mean I have wasted my life; It does mean that I have an excuse to start over. Failure does not mean that I should give up; It does mean that I should try harder. Failure does not mean that I will never make it; It does mean that I need more practice. Failure does not mean that you have abandoned me; It does mean that you must have a better idea. -- Unknown
For... Failure does not mean I'm a failure; It does mean I have not yet succeeded. Failure does not mean I have accomplished nothing; It does mean I have learned something. Failure does not mean I have been a fool; It does mean I had enough faith to experiment. Failure does not mean I have disgraced; It does mean I have dared to try. Failure does not mean I don't have it; It does mean I have something to do in a different way. Failure does not mean I am inferior; It does mean I am not perfect. Failure does not mean I have wasted my life; It does mean that I have an excuse to start over. Failure does not mean that I should give up; It does mean that I should try harder. Failure does not mean that I will never make it; It does mean that I need more practice. Failure does not mean that you have abandoned me; It does mean that you must have a better idea. -- Unknown
Monday, April 10, 2006
God Has Been Good To Me
For 25 years, I watched him fight cancer of the face. First just a small speck that begin to grow larger. Year after year I watch him go to hospital to have a bit cut out each time. As the years went by, more and more of his face was cut away. When he returned with what is left of his face, he tried to smile. He never complained or was downhearted.
He was a skilful mechanic and carpenter. In fact, he was one of the best. Whenever he did a job, he stand back to see if there is anything left out that could be added to make it perfect. Then he would see some little place that the average person would pass up. He would then touch up this or that.
I suspect he said this to himself “My work will be my face and my life” I doubt if he often look in the mirror at that damaged face where the cancer eat into everyday. No matter how humble the pace he worked in, how small the job is or how crude the other workers seem, it never bother him at all. This was his work and it has to be done right. He never glance at the work of others; a shoddy work done by others was not his concern. Nevertheless, I suspect when the job was done, he had a sense of inner pride and joy when he saw how outstanding it was. But he never boasted about it.
As the years went by, he became weaker and weaker. His hands did not move with confidence and speed that so characterized him. He was unable to do many things. However no matter what the work or pay, he always had the insatiable desire to do a good job.
The help he got was not able to catch his vision. They thought he was cranky to try so hard to complete each and every detail. So he worked alone. He did not complain or bitterly rail at the others. He would just appear the next morning by himself with no explanation of the absence of his helpers.
During the latter day, he had only the shambles of a face. He would wrap it up in a red bandana handkerchief, leaving only his eyes showing.
When you met him on the streets, he would always give a cheery greeting. As time went on, it was more and more difficult to say he words. Often he would move his walking stick. This stick, too, was a thing of beauty, carved out by his skilful hands.
His life seemed to be filled with contentment and peace. I suspect that he thanked God for those hands and the fact that it was not marred in any way.
He would often be missed about his usual haunts for weeks or months. He would make his journey to the hospital for the surgeon to cut away more of his face. Then you would see him again, a bit more gruesome. There would be no complain, no telling of his operation and pain. He would just quietly go to work that was awaiting for him.
In all his time, I never knew him to come back with any complaints about the pain. You would think there was nothing the matter if you did not see his face. When the days of his labors seem to becoming to an end, his chief concern was that his tools might be in good hands. He sent for me one day and told me he wished someone would appreciate the tools and use them properly.
When I took a young man to see him about the tools, there came a look of contentment and satisfaction. His work was finished and he was ready to cash in.
A few days before he died he was walking in the yard. His face was nearly completely covered with bandages. Only his eyes were uncovered. As he hobbled about the yard, he said “I am going to keep young just as long as I can”
The day he died, I went to see him again. The odor was so offensive you could hardly stay there. What was left of his face was a mass of scars and there was really nothing to cut away. You could tell he was in great pain and had many sleepless nights. But still there were no words of complaints.
I shall never forget his last words. Ever afterwards they have made me ashamed whenever I feel inclined to complain. Still day after day, they are vivid in my mind.
The words are “God has been awfully good to me. I had never had any reason to complain”
He was a skilful mechanic and carpenter. In fact, he was one of the best. Whenever he did a job, he stand back to see if there is anything left out that could be added to make it perfect. Then he would see some little place that the average person would pass up. He would then touch up this or that.
I suspect he said this to himself “My work will be my face and my life” I doubt if he often look in the mirror at that damaged face where the cancer eat into everyday. No matter how humble the pace he worked in, how small the job is or how crude the other workers seem, it never bother him at all. This was his work and it has to be done right. He never glance at the work of others; a shoddy work done by others was not his concern. Nevertheless, I suspect when the job was done, he had a sense of inner pride and joy when he saw how outstanding it was. But he never boasted about it.
As the years went by, he became weaker and weaker. His hands did not move with confidence and speed that so characterized him. He was unable to do many things. However no matter what the work or pay, he always had the insatiable desire to do a good job.
The help he got was not able to catch his vision. They thought he was cranky to try so hard to complete each and every detail. So he worked alone. He did not complain or bitterly rail at the others. He would just appear the next morning by himself with no explanation of the absence of his helpers.
During the latter day, he had only the shambles of a face. He would wrap it up in a red bandana handkerchief, leaving only his eyes showing.
When you met him on the streets, he would always give a cheery greeting. As time went on, it was more and more difficult to say he words. Often he would move his walking stick. This stick, too, was a thing of beauty, carved out by his skilful hands.
His life seemed to be filled with contentment and peace. I suspect that he thanked God for those hands and the fact that it was not marred in any way.
He would often be missed about his usual haunts for weeks or months. He would make his journey to the hospital for the surgeon to cut away more of his face. Then you would see him again, a bit more gruesome. There would be no complain, no telling of his operation and pain. He would just quietly go to work that was awaiting for him.
In all his time, I never knew him to come back with any complaints about the pain. You would think there was nothing the matter if you did not see his face. When the days of his labors seem to becoming to an end, his chief concern was that his tools might be in good hands. He sent for me one day and told me he wished someone would appreciate the tools and use them properly.
When I took a young man to see him about the tools, there came a look of contentment and satisfaction. His work was finished and he was ready to cash in.
A few days before he died he was walking in the yard. His face was nearly completely covered with bandages. Only his eyes were uncovered. As he hobbled about the yard, he said “I am going to keep young just as long as I can”
The day he died, I went to see him again. The odor was so offensive you could hardly stay there. What was left of his face was a mass of scars and there was really nothing to cut away. You could tell he was in great pain and had many sleepless nights. But still there were no words of complaints.
I shall never forget his last words. Ever afterwards they have made me ashamed whenever I feel inclined to complain. Still day after day, they are vivid in my mind.
The words are “God has been awfully good to me. I had never had any reason to complain”
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Hold That Thought
Our thoughts are very slippery and unpredictable things. Some are like passing showers which leave little puddles when they're gone. Some stick to our minds like leeches that sap our peace of mind and joyful spirit. Some are fully-fledged; brilliant and bold in their stability, while others wander shapelessly like wil-o'-the-wisps in the night.
Most of the time, we don't give much thought to managing our thoughts.
Although our thoughts shape our attitudes, direct our actions, and ultimately chart our lives, most of us are asleep at the wheel. We allow them to come, go, dwell and drift as they please. But the key to happiness and peace of mind is learning which thoughts to hold and which ones to let go.
When you see an elderly person who has to recycle cardboard boxes or aluminium cans just to get by, imagine yourself in his or her predicament.
Allow yourself to feel their struggle and pain, and hold that thought.
Every time you start feeling sorry for yourself, remember that person's plight. Appreciate your good fortune.
When you see an image of a starving child, don't ignore it. Don't look away. Let it prick your heart and hold that thought. If you lose appetite for food because something is bothering you, remember that there are millions of people starving, but you are not one of them. You have an abundance of food to choose from. Be thankful and eat heartily.
When you catch a friend or loved one in a moment of unguarded tenderness, and it reminds you of why you love them, hold that thought. The next time you feel your friend or loved one has been inconsiderate or hurtful, let that thought soften your heart and will it towards forgiveness.
Seek out thoughts that help you become a happier and more loving person.
They don't all have to be pleasant ones; uncomfortable or jarring thoughts work just as effectively to jolt us back into consciousness, reason, love and hope. Let them grip you and make the emotional imprint on your heart.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Starting the Day Right
There are some days when I just don't feel like getting out of bed. Maybe I didn't sleep well the night before or there is something I dread doing ahead of me. For whatever reason, whenever I started my day with fear and worry, the rest of day was doomed to plod along in a sluggish, miserable manner.
The attitude with which we choose to begin our day determines the type of weather we'll spend the rest of the day in. We can either choose a ray of bright sunshine or a raindrop from a storm cloud. We all make that choice every day. Do we start with dread and fear or optimism and hope?
When we begin our day with dread and fear, we naturally invite negativity and a sense of emptiness into our lives. Minor inconveniences are blown into catastrophes, simple pleasures bring us no joy, and we inevitably focus on the negative in people and situations. As the day draws to a close, we wonder how we could have made it through yet another day like this.
But we could endeavour to start each day with an unburdened mind and heart.We could look to our day with enthusiasm and hope, and consciously decide to seek out the good in people and situations. We could choose to be grateful for the seemingly common and simple, and appreciate the little blessings each day brings.
Now, some might argue that that isn't reality ? that the world isn't that wonderful a place. Well, isn't it true that how things look depends on the lenses through which we choose to see them? We make our own reality in how we choose to perceive the world around us.
This doesn't mean that as long as we start our days with hope and optimism that things will magically go the way we want them to. Our attitude towards the world doesn't change the world. It simply helps us better manage changes in the world. Dread and fear stokes the flame of negativity and self-destruction. When we are knocked down, they make it harder for us to get up. Optimism and hope get us on our feet again.
As Mary Pickford once said, "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."
The attitude with which we choose to begin our day determines the type of weather we'll spend the rest of the day in. We can either choose a ray of bright sunshine or a raindrop from a storm cloud. We all make that choice every day. Do we start with dread and fear or optimism and hope?
When we begin our day with dread and fear, we naturally invite negativity and a sense of emptiness into our lives. Minor inconveniences are blown into catastrophes, simple pleasures bring us no joy, and we inevitably focus on the negative in people and situations. As the day draws to a close, we wonder how we could have made it through yet another day like this.
But we could endeavour to start each day with an unburdened mind and heart.We could look to our day with enthusiasm and hope, and consciously decide to seek out the good in people and situations. We could choose to be grateful for the seemingly common and simple, and appreciate the little blessings each day brings.
Now, some might argue that that isn't reality ? that the world isn't that wonderful a place. Well, isn't it true that how things look depends on the lenses through which we choose to see them? We make our own reality in how we choose to perceive the world around us.
This doesn't mean that as long as we start our days with hope and optimism that things will magically go the way we want them to. Our attitude towards the world doesn't change the world. It simply helps us better manage changes in the world. Dread and fear stokes the flame of negativity and self-destruction. When we are knocked down, they make it harder for us to get up. Optimism and hope get us on our feet again.
As Mary Pickford once said, "If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down."
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Dealing With Adversity
Whenever you’re in an uncomfortable or challenging situation, you have only three options:
1. Wait for the situation to change
2. Change the situation
3. Change your response to the situation
Let’s look at the first option. Now, is the situation likely to change on its own? If not, then clearly this is not an option for you. Some situations, however, are short-term, and the answer may just be to wait them out. While you’re waiting for the situation to change though, you might want to think about whether you can go for the second option – change the situation.
The pitfall with this solution is that even if you leave your current situation and go to another, you still take you with you. Are you perhaps part of the problem? Are you habitually trapping yourself in certain difficult situations? If relationships aren’t working out for you, how much responsibility should you bear? And of course, most situations are simply out of our hands; there’s just nothing we can do to change it.
Which brings us to the third, and most effective and empowering option - change your response to the situation. Now the beauty of this option is that unlike the first two, this one’s always open to you. You are the focus. And oddly enough, when you focus on yourself, you have more influence on things outside you. In other words, when you choose to look at things differently, the things you’re looking at change (or at least appear different).
We live in a culture which tends to blame external factors for our woes – it’s God, it’s government, it’s our boss, our lazy co-worker, our parents, our society, even our climate. Anything it seems, except ourselves.
In order to stop blaming and start improving your life, you must change the meaning of the situation. Instead of seeing it as something that was “done to you,” you can choose to see it as a neutral event that isn’t personal, or even a positive experience that you can learn something from. Change your language to reinforce this change of meaning. Instead of asking, “Why did this have to happen to me?” ask yourself “What lesson can I take away from this?”
By changing the meaning you give the situation and changing the language you use, you’ll discover that you have the power to respond in any number of ways, not just the knee-jerk reactions you’ve made in the past. And you’ll be able to choose new responses to old problems, breaking habitual patterns that have been limiting your growth and progress.
1. Wait for the situation to change
2. Change the situation
3. Change your response to the situation
Let’s look at the first option. Now, is the situation likely to change on its own? If not, then clearly this is not an option for you. Some situations, however, are short-term, and the answer may just be to wait them out. While you’re waiting for the situation to change though, you might want to think about whether you can go for the second option – change the situation.
The pitfall with this solution is that even if you leave your current situation and go to another, you still take you with you. Are you perhaps part of the problem? Are you habitually trapping yourself in certain difficult situations? If relationships aren’t working out for you, how much responsibility should you bear? And of course, most situations are simply out of our hands; there’s just nothing we can do to change it.
Which brings us to the third, and most effective and empowering option - change your response to the situation. Now the beauty of this option is that unlike the first two, this one’s always open to you. You are the focus. And oddly enough, when you focus on yourself, you have more influence on things outside you. In other words, when you choose to look at things differently, the things you’re looking at change (or at least appear different).
We live in a culture which tends to blame external factors for our woes – it’s God, it’s government, it’s our boss, our lazy co-worker, our parents, our society, even our climate. Anything it seems, except ourselves.
In order to stop blaming and start improving your life, you must change the meaning of the situation. Instead of seeing it as something that was “done to you,” you can choose to see it as a neutral event that isn’t personal, or even a positive experience that you can learn something from. Change your language to reinforce this change of meaning. Instead of asking, “Why did this have to happen to me?” ask yourself “What lesson can I take away from this?”
By changing the meaning you give the situation and changing the language you use, you’ll discover that you have the power to respond in any number of ways, not just the knee-jerk reactions you’ve made in the past. And you’ll be able to choose new responses to old problems, breaking habitual patterns that have been limiting your growth and progress.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Read More - Be More
"You are the same today as you're going to be in five years except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read."
Hang around thinkers; you'll be a better thinker. Hang around givers; you'll be a better giver. Hang around workers; you'll be a better worker. Hang around a bunch of thumb sucking, complaining, griping boneheads; and you will be a better thumb sucking, complaining, griping bonehead.
Now. With that said... how many of you are under sixteen yet? Great. How do you like an idea that you might be driving a Cadillac when you're sixteen? I got it for you.
When my son was your age, he wasn't quite as excited as you.
I said, "Jerry, do you want to have a car when you're sixteen?" "Yes." "Do you want me to help you buy that car?"
"Yes sir, dad." "Alright, son, we're going to do it, but the free ride's over. No more allowance. I'm going to give you a way to make a lot of money.
Here is the deal. I am going to pick out books for you to read. There will be motivational books, history books, inspirational books; and every time I give you a book, you give me a book report.
Every time I get a book report, I'll put money in your car fund. Another book report; more money in the car fund. In two years if you read in style, you'll drive in style. But if you read like a bum, you're going to drive like a bum."
Overnight he developed a fantastic hunger for reading. Now the first book I had him read was Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Now the first day he came down and said, "Dad, dad, there's a whole chapter in here on smiling and shaking hands." And he shook my hand, shook my hand - first sign of life in fourteen years. Woohoo! And he smiled at me.
Then I had him read a book named Joshua in the Old Testament on discouragement. And we were going to Sunday school one week, and I said, "Jerry, how are you getting along with Joshua?" He says, "Dad, dad." He hit my leg.
Imagine that, he hit my leg. And he said, "Everybody ought to have to read that book." That was a sign he was beginning to think about somebody other than himself.
Well, he read 22 books. Did he buy a car? No. He kept the money, used my car and my gas. Now but wait a minute. Don't laugh. It was worth it. Then he went off to college, and I got one of the greatest experiences of my life.
And the last chapter of my book "Life is Tremendous" is about Jerry Jones (my son), and there is the reading contract to negotiate with your dad to get it in writing, so he can't change his mind.
So Jerry goes off to college and he writes me a "Dear Dad"
postcard everyday for four years. You know what I used to do when I would get some of the cards? I would put my head on my desk and cry. Do you know why? He was thinking thoughts that I never dreamed a young person could think.
Now he didn't have the full meaning of them, but he had read and he had the thoughts in his mind. So I would like to read you a couple cards from college to me.
"Dear Dad, It's tremendous to be able to know that when you are in a slump, just as a baseball player will break out in time, so will you break out of yours. Yes, time really cures things. Like you said, you don't lose any problems, you just get bigger and better ones, tremendous ones. Tremendously, too. Jerry"
"Dear Dad, Just started reading a hundred Great Lives.
Thanks for what you said in the front. The part that every great man never sought to be great. He just followed the vision he had and did what had to be done. Love, Jerry."
Happy Reading!
Charlie "Tremendous" Jones
Hang around thinkers; you'll be a better thinker. Hang around givers; you'll be a better giver. Hang around workers; you'll be a better worker. Hang around a bunch of thumb sucking, complaining, griping boneheads; and you will be a better thumb sucking, complaining, griping bonehead.
Now. With that said... how many of you are under sixteen yet? Great. How do you like an idea that you might be driving a Cadillac when you're sixteen? I got it for you.
When my son was your age, he wasn't quite as excited as you.
I said, "Jerry, do you want to have a car when you're sixteen?" "Yes." "Do you want me to help you buy that car?"
"Yes sir, dad." "Alright, son, we're going to do it, but the free ride's over. No more allowance. I'm going to give you a way to make a lot of money.
Here is the deal. I am going to pick out books for you to read. There will be motivational books, history books, inspirational books; and every time I give you a book, you give me a book report.
Every time I get a book report, I'll put money in your car fund. Another book report; more money in the car fund. In two years if you read in style, you'll drive in style. But if you read like a bum, you're going to drive like a bum."
Overnight he developed a fantastic hunger for reading. Now the first book I had him read was Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Now the first day he came down and said, "Dad, dad, there's a whole chapter in here on smiling and shaking hands." And he shook my hand, shook my hand - first sign of life in fourteen years. Woohoo! And he smiled at me.
Then I had him read a book named Joshua in the Old Testament on discouragement. And we were going to Sunday school one week, and I said, "Jerry, how are you getting along with Joshua?" He says, "Dad, dad." He hit my leg.
Imagine that, he hit my leg. And he said, "Everybody ought to have to read that book." That was a sign he was beginning to think about somebody other than himself.
Well, he read 22 books. Did he buy a car? No. He kept the money, used my car and my gas. Now but wait a minute. Don't laugh. It was worth it. Then he went off to college, and I got one of the greatest experiences of my life.
And the last chapter of my book "Life is Tremendous" is about Jerry Jones (my son), and there is the reading contract to negotiate with your dad to get it in writing, so he can't change his mind.
So Jerry goes off to college and he writes me a "Dear Dad"
postcard everyday for four years. You know what I used to do when I would get some of the cards? I would put my head on my desk and cry. Do you know why? He was thinking thoughts that I never dreamed a young person could think.
Now he didn't have the full meaning of them, but he had read and he had the thoughts in his mind. So I would like to read you a couple cards from college to me.
"Dear Dad, It's tremendous to be able to know that when you are in a slump, just as a baseball player will break out in time, so will you break out of yours. Yes, time really cures things. Like you said, you don't lose any problems, you just get bigger and better ones, tremendous ones. Tremendously, too. Jerry"
"Dear Dad, Just started reading a hundred Great Lives.
Thanks for what you said in the front. The part that every great man never sought to be great. He just followed the vision he had and did what had to be done. Love, Jerry."
Happy Reading!
Charlie "Tremendous" Jones
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
